new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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