Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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