Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
