1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
