He is an equal opportunity slut.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?