Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I need a shot of tequila, and quick death

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  (586): I need a shot of tequila, and quick death http://tfl.nu/qciv
  Replies (5) Good night (746) Bad night (947)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Let me guess--your parents are cousins.

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  (337): Let me guess--your parents are cousins. http://tfl.nu/a2p5
  Replies (22) Good night (1016) Bad night (4980)
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  (315): View more from New York

  i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love

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  (315): i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love http://tfl.nu/v9ss
  Replies (131) Good night (62645) Bad night (2548)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.

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  (540): Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh. http://tfl.nu/suhk
  Replies (15) Good night (6151) Bad night (1102)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside

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  (586): so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside http://tfl.nu/qiju
  Replies (4) Good night (3326) Bad night (1348)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.

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  (256): I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far. http://tfl.nu/ba65
  Replies (6) Good night (3874) Bad night (852)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward

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  (815): my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward http://tfl.nu/w58u
  Replies (7) Good night (2829) Bad night (845)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.

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  (907): I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex. http://tfl.nu/ckwf
  Replies (9) Good night (2732) Bad night (1406)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl

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  (314): The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl http://tfl.nu/c78c
  Replies (6) Good night (1037) Bad night (1588)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.

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  (570): Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied. http://tfl.nu/2f2b
  Replies (12) Good night (2731) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn

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  (928): It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn http://tfl.nu/6fj5
  Replies (9) Good night (602) Bad night (1491)
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  (916): View more from California

  Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?

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  (916): Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college? http://tfl.nu/z4fh
  Replies (2) Good night (907) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.

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  (520): YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND. http://tfl.nu/s2r1
  Replies (11) Good night (391) Bad night (1376)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her

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  (306): I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her http://tfl.nu/gvy3
  Replies (6) Good night (651) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.

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  (602): Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party. http://tfl.nu/kcfz
  Replies (1) Good night (423) Bad night (370)

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