Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Sponge bath it is.

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  (319): Sponge bath it is. http://tfl.nu/r4q1
  Replies (2) Good night (1125) Bad night (588)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.

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  (678): I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes. http://tfl.nu/k74c
  Replies (75) Good night (1096) Bad night (15579)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible

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  (859): I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible http://tfl.nu/51ze
  Replies (22) Good night (732) Bad night (3043)
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  (+90): View more from Turkey

  Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university

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  (+90): Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university http://tfl.nu/62fc
  Replies (34) Good night (3003) Bad night (641)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!

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  (724): I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it! http://tfl.nu/y71c
  Replies (3) Good night (4227) Bad night (1300)
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  (310): View more from California

  His dick was poking my bladder. That big...

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  (310): His dick was poking my bladder. That big... http://tfl.nu/xupw
  Replies (34) Good night (7816) Bad night (1540)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.

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  (336): You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed. http://tfl.nu/k43u
  Replies (4) Good night (2355) Bad night (1521)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him

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  (239): No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him http://tfl.nu/yi67
  Replies (12) Good night (1509) Bad night (2253)
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  (818): View more from California

  Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.

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  (818): Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/vgl2
  Replies (22) Good night (2496) Bad night (1268)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before

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  (316): I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before http://tfl.nu/ozt9
  Replies (24) Good night (668) Bad night (1933)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners

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  (551): Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners http://tfl.nu/77j3
  Replies (4) Good night (1592) Bad night (561)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.

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  (405): Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man. http://tfl.nu/rjwi
  Replies (2) Good night (620) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.

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  (703): Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night. http://tfl.nu/79l1
  Replies (0) Good night (676) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  We're showing the video later bring pizza

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  (919): i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF (1-919): We're showing the video later bring pizza http://tfl.nu/1zdw
  Replies (2) Good night (879) Bad night (310)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog

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  (570): Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog http://tfl.nu/gmkp
  Replies (1) Good night (590) Bad night (211)

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