Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I'd cum for enchiladas.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.