But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
he just fucked me for my cheese..