i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
