So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
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She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
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