its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.