yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize