weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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