can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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