Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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