Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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