so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
