whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
