Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Where is the hickey?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
