We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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