Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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