Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
