We won't sleep together?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize