protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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