Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
