My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize