Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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