her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!