Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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