It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
