I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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