i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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