Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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