Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Drake has all the answers
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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