so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
