You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.