sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I chose taco bell over sex...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me