I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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