Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on