and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.