I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.