I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
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We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
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BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize