Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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