I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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