nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
