Me. At least after what I've been through.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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