is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
