I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize