I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
