I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize