Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
