if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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