He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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