There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize