if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
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the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
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Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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