I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
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Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
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I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.