Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Just fell off a train. Bad.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes

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(330): View more from Ohio

Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?

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(540): View more from Virginia

so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..

(1-540): View more from Virginia

What did u do?

(540): View more from Virginia

turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(408): View more from California

I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.

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(206): View more from Washington

Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.

(1-206): View more from Washington

Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve

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(734): View more from Michigan

Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that

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