Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.

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  (702): I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal. http://tfl.nu/8mte
  Replies (3) Good night (861) Bad night (3639)
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  (858): View more from California

  I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.

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  (858): I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association. http://tfl.nu/vbvm
  Replies (15) Good night (4457) Bad night (571)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator

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  (503): The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator http://tfl.nu/5qfu
  Replies (37) Good night (699) Bad night (5477)
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  (818): View more from California

  dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?

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  (818): dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone? http://tfl.nu/1prq
  Replies (10) Good night (711) Bad night (3711)
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  (631): View more from New York

  there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"

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  (631): there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship" http://tfl.nu/t0by
  Replies (24) Good night (1375) Bad night (3956)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.

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  (217): I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong. http://tfl.nu/7bl9
  Replies (7) Good night (1180) Bad night (2718)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'

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  (+44): I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.' http://tfl.nu/vhcz
  Replies (5) Good night (2749) Bad night (1761)
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  (718): View more from New York

  My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.

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  (718): My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life. http://tfl.nu/zkml
  Replies (6) Good night (916) Bad night (1436)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn

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  (413): Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn http://tfl.nu/nu2n
  Replies (8) Good night (855) Bad night (1380)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.

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  (905): threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month. http://tfl.nu/vbvn
  Replies (2) Good night (1426) Bad night (679)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS

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  (978): I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS http://tfl.nu/o0md
  Replies (2) Good night (1147) Bad night (550)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.

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  (+44): Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life. http://tfl.nu/3wcp
  Replies (4) Good night (1257) Bad night (762)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.

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  (828): He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something. http://tfl.nu/ank0
  Replies (4) Good night (746) Bad night (550)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.

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  (630): If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening. http://tfl.nu/shu6
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (300)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.

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  (405): The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon. http://tfl.nu/fzlp
  Replies (0) Good night (460) Bad night (227)

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