I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.