Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis

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  (901): Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis http://tfl.nu/d468
  Replies (46) Good night (4752) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.

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  (616): every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2. http://tfl.nu/pgp8
  Replies (10) Good night (3932) Bad night (716)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like

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  (757): It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like http://tfl.nu/masc
  Replies (81) Good night (9277) Bad night (1532)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me

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  (570): i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me http://tfl.nu/vizy
  Replies (38) Good night (6136) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"

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  (636): On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge" http://tfl.nu/w12y
  Replies (12) Good night (4751) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex

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  (717): He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex http://tfl.nu/v3ok
  Replies (25) Good night (5986) Bad night (1888)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.

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  (304): You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib. http://tfl.nu/xjlf
  Replies (2) Good night (2531) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.

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  (612): Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes. http://tfl.nu/p3u3
  Replies (3) Good night (2674) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.

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  (407): I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down. http://tfl.nu/6857
  Replies (5) Good night (2907) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.

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  (843): You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in. http://tfl.nu/9ftp
  Replies (8) Good night (1704) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.

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  (214): I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano. http://tfl.nu/5l5s
  Replies (2) Good night (618) Bad night (381)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.

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  (410): Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body. http://tfl.nu/22zp
  Replies (2) Good night (709) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here

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  (815): Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here http://tfl.nu/s5pw
  Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.

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  (815): Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again. http://tfl.nu/i74s
  Replies (3) Good night (245) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her

  (718): View more from New York

  What is this high school

  (347): View more from New York

  There was a lot of catching up to do bro

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  (347): It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her (718): What is this high school (347): There was a lot of catching up to do bro http://tfl.nu/bof4
  Replies (4) Good night (800) Bad night (303)

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