he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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