Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
