So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
