my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize